COMA

Don't be misled by the title of this post - no, I am not in a Coma although some people think so after seeing me these days (said people include my boss, my wife and the three stray dogs who bark near my window at night). Nor is this a review of the Robin Cook novel. COMA actually stands for Committee but here I go again - getting ahead of myself. I can never tell a story straight. Deep breath now...ok...here goes...

Not many people are aware that the government in all its wisdom decided to have a group of people from various departments sit once in a month to coordinate their activities. Of course, this decision came after appointing ANOTHER group of people to decide. This group took about 2 years and 7 sub committees to simply state that there needs a monthly meeting between the various state departments of Electricity, Water, Roads & Buildings (R&B) etc. You might think this was a no-brainer - you are right!! Even I knew that and I AM a no-brainer!

Anyway, this committee was called as COMA (Committee for Organizing and Monitoring Actions). As I said, they meet monthly to figure out how they should coordinate all their activities to minimize disruption in our lives. An intrepid insider gave us a verbatim account of how these meetings go..

R&B: Friends, this is to announce that we plan to relay the MG Road in the first week of May.
Water: That's great - we will dig it up in the second week of May then..
Electricity: That's so unfair - the last time, they re-laid the SP road, you dug it up. You did not even give us a chance.
Water: That's not true. Plus we ensure that we dig up the drains too - that way, there is more impact because of the smell.
R&B: Children, Children! Don’t fight. Don’t worry, Electricity - we have been sanctioned 10 crores to relay the road opposite the school. You can dig that in August - when the rains start...
Electricity: 10 crores for that small road? You don’t need 10 crores for such a small road!!
R&B: Who said all 10 crores will go towards the road?

General laughter all around.

Now a new voice piped up - an unusual Man with a Conscience (MaCo) had recently joined the group

MaCo: Since Water is digging up MG Road, can’t Electricity also do their work at the same time? This way, we don’t have to dig up so many times and we can actually save the government money.

More laughter now - everyone was highly amused by this suggestion.

R&B: If we do that, half of our projects will stop and WE will make half the money. Moving on..any more updates?

Electricity: To cut down on electricity costs, streetlights will be switched off between 11 am and 1 pm going forward.
MaCo: But we don’t NEED lights at that time...why are we even switching lights at that time? Is that why I see lights in broad daylight but they are never switched on at night when I actually need them?!!!

More laughter in the room at MaCo's naiveté

R&B: Now that we had our share of laughter, any more business?
Water: We pump water from 6 am to 8 am every day - we need a power cut from 7 am to 8 am so we can cut down our supplies to consumer.
Electricity: That’s a great idea - this way you will cut down your power bills as well as your water needs. We can blame each other so the public never knows the actual truth..
Water: Agreed - great idea!! This COMA thing actually works...

MaCo: But what about the people? They have been promised 2 hours of water!!

Everyone: Who invited this guy? If we went by what people wanted, then we won’t have much of a job and COMA will lead to Death!!

Meeting ends...........