Top 10 ways of recognizing an Indian politician

I was recently asked by my friend a very simple question "How do you recognize an Indian politician". It really set me thinking - one usually sees someone and says "He is a born politician" but find it difficult to pinpoint the reasons why we think so...So continuing my "gyaan" on the Indian elections, here are the Top 10 ways of recognizing an Indian politician

10. He wears a trade mark khadi dress almost all the time - although he has forgotten the reasons for it.

9. He usually launches a tirade against his political opponents but we all know they are actually good friends in real life

8. He does not have a lot of money (if you read his affidavit while filing his papers). Sometimes, he does not even have a Nano (poor guy!). However, he usually travels with a entourage of Toyota Qualis cars - Tata Sumos are so passe, please!

7. He knows people (or has been) in at least 2 jails.

6. He works only about 80 days in a year - the rest of the days, he takes a well deserved break.

5. He is usually late for all public functions - blame it on the Toyota cars - they are SO slow.

4. He seems to be often misquoted by the press - all CDs of his speeches are "tampered".

3. He raves and rants against different sections of country, based on caste, religion, money, region, language etc. In fact, he professes to love the country while he seems to hate 99% of the people, living in it, based on the above criteria.

2. According to the Guruji theory, the number of voters in his constituency is exactly equal to the amount of dollars he has stashed away in Switzerland.

And the NUMBER 1 way of recognizing him (bang the drums, please)

1. He meets his voters once in 5 years. Meet him this year if you are lucky.

If you know of other ways, please do let me know!