10 Commandments on being a Dad

Someone asked me to write on my experiences of being a dad. I am not sure if I am really qualified because I only have two kids but I do have an uncle and aunt who had 11 of them together. I am sure they could have written much better but then blogs were not around then..so here goes..

In days of yore, a typical father would have packed off his wife to her native village for the delivery. A few months later, he would have got a telegram saying 'Son born mother healthy'. If he was lucky, he would have gone in about 2 weeks to see the child but otherwise would have seen his offspring in about 3 months to get his wife back!! How different is the world today.....

I remember when my first son was born - we were in the US at that time and I was part of the birthing process and expected to do a lot of stuff. When I had my first look at that wrinkled face, my first thought was "Oh my god - he looks so UGLY! Can I return him back?". Unfortunately kids don't come with a warranty so you CANNOT return them. They also do not come with a user manual (I searched!) so you are basically on your own.

In the absence of a user manual, we did the next best thing - searched in Google. No luck - we got this bunch of weird instructions that we could not follow - we were on our own.

When we had the next child (now in India), I was again part of the birthing process and had the same feeling - deja vu I think the French call it. But this time, we did not need or search for a user manual - we basically decided to repeat our earlier mistakes. Based on these two experiences , I think I am qualified to write down my 10 Commandments on being a Dad. Here goes...









1. Thou shalt not offer to change diapers - they SMELL!

2. Thou shalt not be surprised to see various colors of the rainbow on diapers - stool comes in different colors at that age!

3. Thou shalt not covet sleep at nights - if the baby wakes, YOU wake up

4. Thou shalt not ask advice from grandmothers, aunts, mothers or anyone for that matter. They confuse the hell out of you. YOU made the baby, YOU face the music

5. Thou shalt not return a baby because it was ugly when it was born. They do become human like later.

6. Thou shalt not believe when people say that your new born baby is beautiful - they LIE!

7. Thou shalt not believe your mother-in-law when she says that the baby looks exactly like you. SHE lies! Its called politics.

8. Thou shalt not interfere when siblings fight, unless really required. They usually tend to patch up things among themselves without adult interference.

9. Thou shalt sterilize baby bottles, nipples etc in the first month in hot water, keep it under running water the next month and just wipe it on your ars* the third month because its too much to keep sterilizing. For the the second baby, just jump to phase 3.

and the last one

10. Thou shalt take your baby out often (without its mother) to supermarkets, malls etc. Babies are the best chick magnets on earth!

I can see some Dads already nodding (been-there-done-that) and for the rest of you, believe me, that's how it ACTUALLY happens!

Here is hoping this has been helpful. Comments welcome...(use link below)