Saturday, February 20, 2010

Top 10 Bollywood Icons

At the outset. let me confess - this blog spot idea is not my own. It was the Missus's idea so I must give all credit to her. Like I give for everything that goes well in my life - for everything else, there is Me.

Anyway, after visiting my last two posts, the Better Half gave me a piece of her mind (incidentally she has so much of it to give these days as compared to the earlier days of marriage but will reserve it for a different post). Here is how the talk went

BH: "Vishnu - what is all this about Bengalureans and Hyderabadis? Who cares about how to recognize them? First of all, no one visits your blog and to top it all, you talk of two cities about whom your visitors might not even care"

Me: "But I do have 3 visitors from Hyderabad as I clearly mentioned in the last post!!"

BH: "Shut up. One of them is you, one of them is me and the third is your son whom you force to go to your blog to increase your hits. You can easily make out because no one leaves comments and the ones who do, are usually anonymous. I think this time, you should talk about something which is more universal and appeals to all Indians"

ME: "You mean Katrina Kaif?" (my liking for a certain Ms. Kaif is well known and forms a certain amusement for the family especially the kids. Ms Kaif of course does not know about it)

BH: "No, you twerp. Other than you and that guy who takes his shirt off, no one cares for her and I am sure she does not even know you exist. But you do bring a good point. You should talk about Bollywood - its more universal and might actually get you some more visitors"

Once the BH gives her diktat, you sort of follow it, like the lamb who followed Mary. Unless you want to go on a involuntary diet.

Which is why this post is about Bollywood icons. No - not the Bachhans, Khans etc but symbols of Bollywood that you will all recognize from movies you have seen in the past. In fact, not just Bollywood, it encompasses Tollywood, Mollywood and Sandalwood (my current location). These are the unsung heroes who actually deserve the awards but no one seems to do it. So here is my tribute to the top 10 Bollywood icons

10. The Doves - the most symbolic icon of a movie to reflect love. You see two of them nudging each other to give you an idea of what the hero and heroine MUST be doing. A close cousin is the bush and the flowers. You always see them coming together and the rest is left to imagination. In fact, for a long time, I always believed that's what the birds and bees do - shake a few bushes here and there and voila!

9. The Sister - the symbol of nauseating sweetness. The hero's sister is always cute, plump and has pigtails. You never see her in a glamorous role although she manages to fall in love with the hero's best friend. She is the one who welcomes the heroine and calls her Bhabhi the first time she meets her. She lends her sari to the Bhabhi and somehow it fits even though they have different shapes. Of course, she is a bit stupid also because she manages to fall into the villain's hands with her mother, hanging above the "Liquid Oxygen" in the final few scenes.

8. The Lamp - the symbol of death. The hero might die a few thousand miles away but the lamp always flickers off at the same moment in synchronization. Has been to known to increase greatly the level of superstition in most homes in India.

7. The Servant - popularly known as Ramu Kaka - the symbol of honest, integrity and always looking old. He is the one who runs away with the child to save him from the evil uncle, brings him up on his own and tells the hero on the deathbed about his past. In fact, in real life, the Ramu Kakas actually steal the child and demand ransom.

6. The Degree - the symbol of Power. Kick starts when the hero says "Ma - mai BA pass ho gaya hoon". In the next scene, he is a manager of a big firm and a big house with a winding staircase. He now wears a black suit and of course woos the owner's daughter. He also has now his own car. In reality, a BA degree holder might actually be driving the car.

The last 5 will be shown in the next post....Keep visiting..

5 comments:

+srinivasramajayam said...

That was just fantastic Vishnu. Proceeding to the 'next five' right away.

Bikash said...

Will be interesting to read your take on our soap operas too

madhu said...

Funny!

Etc Etc said...

Thanks all for the compliments! Bikash - will do on soap operas although I dont watch too many of them! :)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.