Sunday, May 2, 2010

Bhagwaan's love letter (Part 1)

"This is a sacrilege!! Why did you do this shameful act?." thundered the voice above Bhagwaan's head.

Bhagwaan did not know what to say - he did not know why he did the "shameful act" and moreover did not understand sacrilege meant. I mean who understands such big words when you are in the 5th class. And on top of that, the question was being asked by Chandrahaas Sir - his PT teacher - a big strong man whom all the boys feared for his cane and the thwacking all of them got from it. Except of course, the 10th class students who used to give him cigarettes - to Chandrahaas Sir not to Bhagwaan in case you misunderstood.

Ooops!! As usual, I jumped to the middle of the story without giving you the correct introduction. so let me get that fixed first. Bhagwaan as you all know was one of the dreamy people with a fair IQ but always lived in his own world thus making everyone think he was a nincompoop. So much so that his brother (who had just started reading PG Wodehouse) used to call him as Bertie Wooster (after that famous Wodehousian character). To be fair, Bhagwaan was a bit of dreamer as I mentioned so maybe the comparison was apt. Now in class 5th, he had a love-hate relationship with his school. He hated the school and loved it when it was closed.

However, the past few weeks, there was a transformation - he had a new found resolve to come to school everyday. The reason was very very simple - Ramani Madam. Ramani Madam was the new English teacher - one of those teachers of the new era who felt that children should be encouraged to speak. She was like an oasis in a desert - and Bhagwaan immediately developed a crush on her. Now Ramani Madam was no beauty - her salt and pepper hair had more salt than pepper. However as the old saying goes, at age 10, even a she donkey looks beautiful especially since Ramani madam had such a sweet disposition.

Bhagwaan, in a fit of insanity, had written a love letter to her expressing his admiration. Having recently read Perry Mason and so felt he knew more about the law, he wiped his finger prints from the paper and did not sign it. He thought he was clever and no one would know the deception but totally forgot that it was in his own hand writing and who knows your handwriting better than your teacher. Maybe his brother was right - he was Bertie Wooster! Ramani Madam immediately told her colleagues (although later she told a couple of them that she was also flattered!).

Whew!! Now you know the background - the shameful act was the "writing of the love letter".

Bhagwaan looked at the floor without daring to look at Chandrahaas sir. Which is why he did not see the cane swish and hit him on the butt! Thwack!! That really hurt - now it would be difficult to sit on the bench.

"You dirty boy!! How dare you write such letters to a teacher?" said Chandrahaas Sir - his voice resembled a Bull - in fact the kids nickname for him was Bull's Posterior (I disagree - I have seen more beautiful bull's posteriors)

Bhagwaan (to himself) "and what about your affair with Sharma teacher? Don't think we don't know about that!!"

Chandrahaas Sir "What boy? What did you say?"

Bhagwaan (quivering) "Nothing Sir!! Sorry Sir!!"

Chandrahaas Sir "Lets see tomorrow, son. When we go in front of the Principal - you will not only meet my cane more but also get expelled"

Bhagwaan walked out the room - he did not know whom to tell. Then he suddenly remembered - his grandmother had told him a few days back (during Ganesh Chauthi) that Ganesha was the one who removed obstacles. Bhagwaan had of course scoffed at the idea - everyone knew that it was Amitabh Bachhan who removed obstacles. He had just seen Amar Akbar Anthony and how Amitabh had defeated that big body builder. He first prayed to Amitabh and then as an after thought to Ganesha - there was no harm..

Needless to say - he had a sleepless night...somewhere a song was playing "Karvate Badalte Rahen, saari raat hum....' a very apt song..

Will Bhagwaan survive the ordeal? Will he meet Chandrahaas Sir's cane again? Will Amitabh help? Will Ganesha help? All questions answered in the next post..

No comments: