"Bhagwaan. have you decided" asked SaasuMa, without a by-your-leave.
"Decided what? what-what-what" I stuttered - she always has this effect on me.
"Decided on what to buy for Bhagyawaan" she said.
I was really flummoxed now. "Why should I buy something" I said.
She gritted her teeth - believe me it sounded like that concrete mixer that they use when they construct buildings.
But then I am getting ahead of myself - I keep forgetting you don’t know all these characters. Bhagwaan is my name - a middle aged IT professional trying desperately to keep my sanity with both Bhagyawaan (my wife of 12 years) and SaasuMa (my mother in law) at home. I also have two kids - Badu (my son) and Chotti (my daughter).
Now that you know all the characters, lets get on with the conversation..
“Because its your wedding anniversary next week. I did not expect you to forget your own wedding anniversary” said SaasuMa, giving her “I know that you are an imbecile” look.
I had actually forgotten - what with the slump in the industry and the subsequent “keep my job” syndrome in the office, I had completely missed it but of course, I could not admit it to her.
“Of course, I remember that Feb 14th is our anniversary. I have already told the florist to send 12 roses” said yours truly.
She sniffed and then snorted - the only woman who could do together in 5 seconds. I should talk to these Limca Records fellows about it but then I digress..
“Have a cold?”
“No..I was thinking about my mistake 12 years back when I married my daughter to you and not Sonu”
“Who is Sonu” I said and then I recalled that SaasuMa was a big fan of the singer Sonu Nigam - apparently she wanted her daughter to marry someone “just like Sonu Nigam”. She kept calling him “Oh so chweet”. I was obviously not up to the mark - although I believe I looked better than Sonu Nigam NOW.
“Anyways!” she replied. “Roses are just symbolic but I know Bhagyawaan has her mind set on that necklace that she saw the other day we went shopping”.
“What necklace?”
“The one with those green and red stones”.
“Oh! THAT one but I am sure she did not want to BUY it. She realized how expensive it was - about 60 grams or so, wasn’t it?”
“60!! More like 88 grams”
Other than giving her a look of “oh death - where is thy sting”, I could not say anything and silently walked out.
Now I was..whats the word I was looking for..starts with a con..contracted? No. consulted..No No…condoled?… confounded!! that’s the word..how was I going to buy a necklace of 88 grams when I was not sure how I could pay the EMI on the house loan I had taken plus my credit card bills. With the current rates of 1500 for a gram, I was looking at a damage of about 132000/-, definitely a big dent on my already precarious finances. My bank manager was already avoiding me when I visited the bank.
Then I remembered - this was when I should call Ganesha - my friend, philosopher and guide. Now Ganesha was not someone all people could see but then every time I called Him, he helped me out. I silently sent out a prayer to him - get me out of this mess on our usual terms and conditions - Rs 101/- in the Hundi box.
(To be continued...)
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