Bhagwaan and the "surprise gift" - Part 1

It was a very despondent Bhagwaan standing at the Secunderabad Railway Station waiting for the Garib Rath to take him to Bangalore. For once, I will ensure that I do not start from the middle and have you wonder - who is this Bhagwaan and why is he taking a train? Here is the background

Bhagwaan is  a middle aged (read old)  IT professional trying desperately to keep his sanity with Bhagyawaan (his wife of 18 years) He has two kids - Badu (his son of 14 going on 10) and Choti (his daughter of 9 going on 18).  There – I made a good start…

Yes – I have still not answered the second part of the question. If you are one of the three readers who actually read my blog, you might remember Bhagyawaan’s elder sister – Priya from an earlier story. She is the HR manager of a large organization and always seems to be appraising people. She is the one who makes evil Catbert (from the Dilbert series) look like a saint. Priya had married another HR professional who went by an unusual name of J. J seems to have gone up the corporate escalator and was now the HR Director of a large MNC. Now modesty and J did not go together. He ensured that he let everyone know (especially Bhagwaan) about his wealth and lifestyle. J had recently bought a diamond necklace worth 12 lakhs from a famous jeweler in Bangalore as a surprise gift for his wife. Priya was ecstatic & had spent no time in bragging about it thus ensuring that Bhagyawaan was bitten by the green eyed monster. Bhagyawaan immediately asked Bhagwaan to buy her a more expensive necklace from the same shop in Bangalore in a show of one-upmanship. Hence, Bhagwaan was travelling to Bangalore to do as he was bidden. See – we got that all straightened out, isn’t it?

Now you might still ask – why despondent? There are two reasons – 1) I wanted to show off my knowledge of English by using words that I had never heard before 2) Recently, Bhagwaan had lent some money to a widow (based on an email) whose husband had left a large fortune apparently but she needed some money first to transfer the money to Bhagwaan. Bhagwaan empathized with her situation and had promptly given the money. He had not heard from her from a long time and hence was quite broke. Given that background, he could not even tell the truth to Bhagyawaan.

Good – we got all of that sorted out. Bhagyawaan had come to the station and was giving him precise details on the kind of necklace she wanted to be “gifted”. Bhagwaan was half listening and hence was looking around the bustling Railway Station. Now I am not sure if you have seen the normal scene which you will find in most Indian stations. Let me give you a glimpse of some of typical things you will see...

·   A stray dog was moving around as if he owned the station. He was eyeing a small poodle who had come to the station with her owner. The poodle was also eyeing him surreptitiously – she might be French and pedigreed but a handsome man is a man!

·   A porter was sitting on his haunches, smoking a bidi (ignoring the No Smoking sign) and intermittently scratching his groin

·   A boy of around 20 looking at the reservation charts to see if there was girl of his age in the compartment. His face glowed when it showed that Vanisri F 19 on seat number 62. He was of course disappointed when he saw a lady of 55 on the seat (since Vanisri had already eloped with her boyfriend and hence did not turn up).

·   His friend who was pretending to look at the books of Vivekananda in the book stall but was actually eyeing some sleazy literature and trying to gather up courage to buy it.

·   A big family seeing off a nervous but excited kid who was going to Saudi Arabia for a job. He was wearing a tight suit in the Hyderabad heat and sweating profusely. He was surrounded by a group of crying women who were giving him advice while hugging him.

·   A loudspeaker announcement which came on intermittently to announce the arrival and departure of trains. Unfortunately, none of the announcements helped since the actual platform number could never be deciphered.

·   A leak in the roof led to a dripping of water of unknown sources to form a puddle on the ground

·   A beggar who was sleeping on the floor and woke up whenever he felt he could ask someone for money. Otherwise, he was playing games on his smart phone

·   A family of four where the kids were running around everywhere ignoring the threats and shouts of the parents

·   A newly married couple who were lost in each other and oblivious to the rest of the world

Hopefully, that gave you an idea of what Bhagwaan was seeing while Bhagyawaan kept rattling away. Finally, the green signal was given and Bhagwaan got into the train having promptly forgotten all of Bhagyawaan’s instructions. He sat on his seat and looked around at his co passengers.

Now passengers on Indian trains come in different varieties (for the Top 10 of them read this post). Bhagwaan was happy since he preferred a lower berth and had actually got it. In a few minutes, the newly married couple approached him. The girl with a sweet smile on her face asked “Uncle – can you exchange your berth with us?”  The husband stood in the background realizing that the bride was better at such negotiations. Bhagwaan always had a softer side to him and promptly agreed (although the Uncle piece of it rankled him). He regretted it when he saw it was the middle one of the side berths very near the toilets. Now, every time someone opened the door, the stink of urine would reach his nostrils.

He did not get much sleep that day wondering how he could manage to a buy the necklace when he had no money.

Will Bhagwaan come out of this predicament? Will he take help from his friend Ganesha? Or will it be the end of the Bhagwaan stories? Watch this space for the concluding part….