10. Have a computer/internet connection/printer with at least two spare cartridges at home - kids will tell you at 10 pm in the night about a critical school project
9. Dont try to clean up the house - its useless
8. If relatives tell you how beautiful your child looks, dont believe them. They are usually ugly.
7. When the child is smaller, make sure you sterlize the bottles etc in hot water. After a few days, run it under water..after a few more days, just wipe it on your behind. Germs are anyway good for them!
6. They always love other mom's cooking - accept it.
5. Learn the fine art of dividing stuff into two exactly especially cakes etc. This is needed to keep the peace at home
4. Get a room which is sound proof so you can scream when needed. Its important for your own sanity
3. Allow the kids to settle a quarrel among themselves - they will do much better than you
2. When you have one child, you are a parent. When you have two, you are a referee
and the number one tip for parents is
1. The government is right - having two of them is enough! "Bacche do hi acche!"
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Top 10 commandments for a successful marriage
10. Thou shalt not notice the zits on the face however ugly they look
9. Thou shalt understand that "having a headache" does not necessarily mean taking out painkillers
8. Thou shalt never praise your wife's friends however good they look and you want to hit on them
7. Thou shall always fall the old adage of "Silence is Golden " as much as possible
6. Thou shalt understand if your kid comes first in class, then it comes from HER side of the family
5. Thou shalt also understand that if your kid gets a complaint from school, it comes from YOUR side of the family
4. Thou shalt understand the statement "My feet are paining" means "I am overworked, you louse and I need a massage so better get that started"
3. Thou shalt know that a "No" can mean Yes, No or Maybe
2. Thou shall always answer the questions "Am I fat? Have I gained weight?" with a emphatic "No!!!!" however untrue it is
and the number 1 commandment
1. Thou shalt know that you should always have the last word in a fight and that is "Sorry"
Happy marriage!
9. Thou shalt understand that "having a headache" does not necessarily mean taking out painkillers
8. Thou shalt never praise your wife's friends however good they look and you want to hit on them
7. Thou shall always fall the old adage of "Silence is Golden " as much as possible
6. Thou shalt understand if your kid comes first in class, then it comes from HER side of the family
5. Thou shalt also understand that if your kid gets a complaint from school, it comes from YOUR side of the family
4. Thou shalt understand the statement "My feet are paining" means "I am overworked, you louse and I need a massage so better get that started"
3. Thou shalt know that a "No" can mean Yes, No or Maybe
2. Thou shall always answer the questions "Am I fat? Have I gained weight?" with a emphatic "No!!!!" however untrue it is
and the number 1 commandment
1. Thou shalt know that you should always have the last word in a fight and that is "Sorry"
Happy marriage!
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